good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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