I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
