dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize