I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
