Duck Duck Cougar?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
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