Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
