The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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