Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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