Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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