I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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