I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
When are your genitals available?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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