Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
