I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
