nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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