Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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