that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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