I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
