My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
