she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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