I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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