I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
