Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
