Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
