help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Two words: nipple clamps
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