Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
