So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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