why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
