They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
