The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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