Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
