failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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