Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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