did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize