and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
