she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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