my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
