my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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