Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
