you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
home. puking in laundry basket.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
