Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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