She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
