I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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