the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
