Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
