I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
