Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
