i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
not ubering you a puppy
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
