i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
