I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
