Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
