shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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