I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
