so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize