K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
