the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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