just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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