its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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