if i can run in heels then i can drive
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize