Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
