Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
