I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
