question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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