I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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