just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
