Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize