ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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