She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
