I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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