I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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