It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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