We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He did a backflip because drugs
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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